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Sabado, Nobyembre 24, 2012

T.B.L. Vol. 3: The Game of Chance

T.B.L. stand for The Becklette Lessons. i would like to define becklette as a becky who is of the age of innocence (or lack thereof). anywhere between teen to early 20s. i want to impart knowledge to my brethren who are of the younger set. there are so many of them out there.

if you do not fall within this age range anymore, you have to admit, you were a becklette once. didn't we, at one point in our lives, say this: i wish i knew then what i know now? some of us grow older, but never grow up. maybe, just maybe, this could still help.


lesson #8: the fall

never fall in "love" on the first date then fall out of "love" on the fifth. it's recklessly wasteful to start something you would not be finishinG. you see, that's what make the becky culture so volatile. our people do not put value into a long and steady phase. nowadays, it's all "i find that itty bitty teeny weeny speck of imperfection in you and that's it, it's over". blame it on the horsed-faced lady from that show about how she found her man despite her horse-faced-ness.

you are not a quality analyst on a production line who throws away the refuse. embrace everything there is in that guy you are dating. just think of it this way: you are not THAT perfect as you delude yourself to be.

lesson #9: sometimes you are the Popoy, sometimes the Basha...
(a.k.a. watch One More Chance)

yes, I am deadly serious. the one with John Lloyd and Bea? yep. that's the one.

this movie speaks volumes of truth about relationships be it heterosexual or beckysexual.

even though lesson number 2 (TBL vol.1) explicitly said that there is no such thing as a 3-month rule in the becky world, we can relate to these heterosexual rules:

-there is always an inevitable end.
-either you will get your heart trampled upon, or you are the one who did the trampling.
-make up/break up sex is the hottest.
-losing someone could drive you to your madstrings.
-friends are the anchor to your sanity.
-there are also the stupid haircuts after every break up. (wait, what!? you don't do that?)

and since the becky world is getting smaller and smaller nowadays (everybody is somebody's ex), you are bound to flip flop between the two roles.

although here's my caveat: watch it on DVD and then end the movie when they say their farewell at the UST football field. that is where the movie truly ends.

lesson #10: ...but no, you don't get to speak your lines

yes, in your head it feels good to come up with lines such as:
-
P: "Five years? Itatapon mo lang lahat?"
B: "Kailangan ko to, kailangan mo rin."
P: "Pero ikaw ang kailangan ko."
-
B: "Ang totoo hanggang ngayon umaasa parin ako na sabihin mong ako parin. Ako na lang. Ako na lang ulit."
-
P: "She loved me at my worst. You had me at my best. And you chose to break my heart."
-
T: Mahal mo pa ba siya?
P: Ayokong nakikitang nasasaktan.
T: (She reaches out and softly closes his eyes.) Para kung masaktan man ako, hindi mo makikita...Mahal mo pa ba siya?
P: (He starts to sob) I'm sorry.
-
P: Siguro kaya tayo iniiwanan ng mga mahal natin dahil may darating pang ibang mas magmamahal sa'tin - 'yung hindi tayo sasaktan at paasahin...'yung magtatama ng lahat ng mali sa buhay natin.

dear little drama queen, wake up and smell the celluloiD. life never sets you up to deliver these mushy killer lines. when you are at the moment, all you have are caveman-level thoughts, let alone the ability to utter coherent sentences. you only get to think of these knock out lines AFTER the event.

lesson #11: stop watching sappy love stories
if by any random circumstance you find yourself relating to a movie because the events that transpired eerily mirrored what's in your life, then it just means one thing. damn, your life is boring! why? because someone, somewhere out there, tapping on his/her keyboard was able to map out your point A to point B. it is then when you are no longer unique, no longer adding anything new to the tapestry that is the human evolution of love.

by:http://madstringsmanifesto.blogspot.com

T.B.L. stand for The Becklette Lessons. i would like to define becklette as a becky who is of the age of innocence (or lack thereof). anywhere between teen to early 20s. i want to impart knowledge to my brethren who are of the younger set. there are so many of them out there.

if you do not fall within this age range anymore, you have to admit, you were a becklette once. didn't we, at one point in our lives, say this: i wish i knew then what i know now? some of us grow older, but never grow up. maybe, just maybe, this could still help.

lesson #5: the timeline

as we are going through the becklette stage of our lives, we are afflicted with what i would like to call Temporalis Delusionis - the general lack of perception of time. a relationship built up in a fortnight (read: 2 weeks) is deemed valid and consummate, and a month is considered an eternity. what makes it more intriguing is when asked, the 2 weeks (or the 1 month) mentioned above is in reality a date or two over the weekends. 

let's put it in to perspective shall we? here is a very common case: a becklette relationship that claims to be in its 3rd month. wow, at first you are impressed. you go: "in becky years kasi that is times 2 because it's harder to maintain than heterosexual relationships" (i love becky logic!). now ask the lovely couple: ilang beses na kayo nagkikita, yung totoo? faced with this question, you'd be surprised that the so-called 3 months are actually, seeing each other over the weekends to watch a movie, go on a "date" of sorts and then going to their separate homes. let's do the math. let's be on the generous side, let's say they really dedicate the weekends to each other. Saturday and Sunday equals 2 days. 2 days multiplied by 4 (weeks in month), multiplied by 3 (actual duration). 24 days! realize that, we were generous here thinking that you spent both days of the weekend together. that's not even a month! that would be cut in half if they only saw each other once a week. 

and yet, there are so many becklettes or thunderbecks (coined by soltero! yeh boy!) out there who beat themselves up saying: "am i cursed? how come i never get past (insert length of time here) with anyone?"

maghunusdili ka! as you will (and should) realize down the line: you could never, ever get to know the totality of someone even after spending a lifetime (read: several years).

on the flipside, here's how you should look at it. do away with counting! you can make every moment count. the moment you start counting, you are just trying to validate the belief that you can make a relationship last. if you were sure about the guy in the first place, would there be a need to count?

which brings me to...

lesson #6: trust issues

remember this saying: "love is like giving someone a gun, having them point it at your heart and trusting them to never pull the trigger"?

my dear becklette, lemme say this: bullshit! in a becky relationship assuming you get past the honeymoon, ligawan, malanding kilig phase, either one of you is bound to cheat. there goes never!

that is a sordid reality. i'm sorry if this is a bitter pill to swallow. but you have to live in the reality we face today. if i may rephrase the saying:  love is like giving someone a gun, having them point it at your heart and expecting them to pull the trigger. when that happens, draw from that strength within you to heal, survive and wipe off the blood stains on the floor. 

ang haba no? but lengthy and more apt to our line of business. the love in our world is measured by the event AFTER the cheating. part of love is forgiving. let's say you found out he cheated, do you still have that capability to forgive? then tabula rasa. then by some god knows what reason, you cheat, does he have the capability to forgive? then tabula rasa. if at one point, the capability to overcome and forgive is already diminished, then part ways.

a simple excel equation (equation na naman?): IF "love" > "anger and pain", THEN "save relationship". IF "anger and pain" > "love", THEN "escape before you go crazy with plans of retribution!!!".

if i knew back then this simple equation, then it would have spared me and my partners, the waterworks. but then again, what would life be without the stories worthy of being aired on "Maalaala Mo Kaya"?

do not lose hope though, young one. the heart is made of a rare material that can withstand apocalyptic disasters. it is the one thing that makes us humans transcend. for every lashing you get scars. but the scars make you stronger. wear it proud! and do not be afraid to take more.

think of it this way: you survive ordeals and they change you for the better. you are not the same person than when you first started. you are more resilient and you have more capacity to love. so in effect, you make the next person you love a very lucky individual. he benefits from that wealth of wisdom. and it pays forward. i believe the most ideal love stems from a relationship where both parties are already "war veterans". if only both know how to make use of their medals.

lesson #7: pain and how it's related to the penis

pain is temporary. cliche. 

however, becklettes who dwell on pain several months after the fact, are not really in pain. what they are experiencing is a fate that most becklettes deny: they are stroking their bruised egos.

more often than not, the languishing pain is not really of a broken heart but of wounded pride. pride is the sin most becklette have an overabundance of.

at this point in my life, i've come to a zen like state of defeating the pride monster. for me, it's more of ok, the pain felt for the first few hours is real, anything afterwards is self inflicted pride-stroking. and why waste time?

pride is like the penis. we love showing it off. but if somebody injures it, shames it, we resort to jacking off til the time we want to show it off again.chow's that for a non-cliche? lol.

young one, it's ok to have your pride. but damn, keep it in check! do not let it control your life. just swallow it down. your experience, harrowing as it is, is a stepping stone to your next adventure.

to end this dialog, sing a little ditty.

Love, Hope, Sanity are onboard a bus 
destination: Moving On. 
but the bus isn't moving because one seat is still empty
Love asked, who are we waiting for?

we're waiting for Ego.
we can't leave without him
we can't live without him

but where is Ego?
oh he's in his room,
black and blue, looking out the window

let's all wait for Ego.
we can't leave without him
we can't live without him

T.B.L. vol. 1: The Ex-Factor


(according to http://madstringsmanifesto.blogspot.com)...
T.B.L. stand for The Becklette Lessons. i would like to define becklette as a becky who is of the age of innocence (or lack thereof). anywhere between teen to early 20s. i want to impart knowledge to my brethren who are of the younger set. there are so many of them out there. 

if you do not fall within this age range anymore, you have to admit, you were a becklette once. didn't we, at one point in our lives, say this: i wish i knew then what i know now? some of us grow older, but never grow up. maybe, just maybe, this could still help.

lesson #1: the ex -pectations

in my numerous trysts with our kind, i must have ran across every single representation of our kind out there. but no matter what configuration they arrive in, you have to expect that sooner or later they will exit your life. it's a cold, hard fact. i just want to be upfront about it. it may be as spectacular as how they entered it, or it could just be a sputter.

in life, or specifically, in becky life you will probably have 4 great ex-es (plural of ex-). those 4 ex-es would determine how you go about in your other non-serious flings. they would always be the mold that you would pattern the replacements to.

lesson # 2: there is no such thing as a 3-month rule

wake up. you are not john lloyd (or bea, if you prefer). that concept is for them straight folks. they want to fool themselves into believing that there should be time after every break up. it's a way to give time for their wounded egos to heal.

as beckys we have more ego to spare than the straight ones. so much in fact, it seeps out. so no matter how desperate you are after a break up, most probably it's because you've only experienced it a couple of times. toughen up, soldier. you'll get to a point where you would soon be impervious to the coldness it brings. it's like stitching up a flak jacket. the more inexperienced you are, the thinner it is. as you face more wars, the flak jacket can take more shit coming your way and the higher the probability you'll escape unscathed.

lesson # 3: there is always life after death...

of the relationship, that is. don't despair. if you will, try to let it simmer for just a day (3 at most), but not more than that! anything longer than that and it's just self-flagellation. what you come out as, depends on you. would you be a monster, ready to devour a hapless soul to get your revenge or do you take the high road and become a better man? you don't have to worry what road you take. everybody would eventually take both paths. it's just a matter of when. you would never know how it is to be a better man if you do not face the monster that is within. and likewise, how can you be a beast, if you don't know where to strike the honest man where it would hurt the most?

lesson # 4: do not lose yourself, but LOVE for all it's worth

give your 60% in every relationship (the remainder is what you keep true to yourself). a relationship that imposes you give more than this means you are taken for granted. let me tell you this, it would not end pretty. you see that splatter on the ground that was once a human becky? yes, that's what happens when you've lost the ground under you. you fall...to your death.

despite this, love like the end of the world is coming tomorrow. try to squeeze every single ounce you can out of it. never let go if you can still fight for it. always give it a shot. you never know.

for all it's worth, love!

be a romantic-realist. i know i am. ;)

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